Internet Helper’s Guide
The ladies who are asking for help come from very different backgrounds and mindsets. Some are Christian grandmothers with a solid foundation in the Word, some are baby Christians, many are bitter Christians, and some are not Christians at all. The one thing they all have in common is that they have been wounded by sexual abuse.
Their needs range from support and encouragement; to help with DID/SRA. I will do my best to match each lady with a helper who is a good fit for her. Before I refer a lady I usually try to find someone who can help her in person, especially if she has some of the more serious problems.
It is better to work in person with someone. But with many of these hurting ladies that is not possible. Some have too much shame about their past to tell anyone in person at this stage in life. Many do not have the financial means to get help and there do not seem to be any Christian counselors in their areas who do not charge for their help.
There are several drawbacks to counseling over the Internet. You are not able to see body language or hear voice inflections. You are dependent on what they tell you. It is important to choose your words very carefully to avoid triggering her unnecessarily because you are not there to help her calm down. This forces you to trust the Lord to take care of the lady. The advantages are that you can carefully consider your words and she will have them to read and reread. Working by Internet makes it easier to encourage her to look to the Lord for healing instead of you.
The requests for help come from a website designed to help women who have been sexually abused. One of the additions I am working on is a counselor side of the site to provide templates, Scripture prayers, illustrations, and homework assignments for the ladies you are working with. http://www.myjourney.homestead.com/counselor_resources.html The password for the counselor resources page is joy You can also access it through the home page in the lower left hand corner.
Those of you who have been invited to join in this ministry of helping have come highly recommended. My desire is to connect you with these hurting ladies and let you work with them as the Lord leads. The website touches on many of the key areas of healing and I am still in the process of adding to the resources and steps, the ladies who ask for help are expecting you to mentor them as they work through the steps to healing on the site. Please work with them as the Lord leads you though. You are not bound by what is on the site. I have just recently purchased the rights to use Neil Anderson's Steps to Freedom along with his Confidential Personal Inventory for this ministry. You can access it at http://www.myjourney.homestead.com/Steps_to_Freedom.html The password is joy and you may give the password to your client when she is ready for this step. I’ll be happy to help you or answer any questions you might have, as I am able but I feel that God has given each of you the tools to help these hurting ladies.
Many of the ladies request help but it quickly becomes obvious that they are not committed to doing whatever is necessary to heal. Only about one in five usually stay in contact. Regardless, I hope that you will faithfully pray for your ladies and keep sending them occasional notes of encouragement so that when they are ready to heal they will feel comfortable turning to you.
I have found three things especially helpful. First, when you are e-mailing a lady, always ask her a question that requires a response. For example, "Is it hard for you to think of God being your Heavenly Father? What comes to mind when you think of Him as being your Heavenly Father?" Often I ask them to read a paper from the site or a book and then talk to me about it. Second, try to help the lady feel like you are hearing her heart. I use terms like, "It sounds like your heart is saying…" The third thing that the ladies really appreciate is your writing out prayers for them so they can see how you are praying for them. I have also found that it is very important to keep counseling notes in order to avoid confusion.
This type of ministry is a bit different than it would be if you were working face to face with these ladies. Most of my helping has been listening to them and getting an understanding of where they are and then suggesting resources to help them take the next step. It also involves mentoring them, encouraging them to keep talking to you about what they are learning from the resources and helping them learn to return to joy when they experience a difficult time.
When working with these ladies, the only personal information you should give at least until you have worked with them extensively is your first name. Contact should primarily be through e-mails and Instant Messaging. After working with a lady for several months you may decide to work with her by MSN voice messenger or by phone. I do this when I am taking the ladies through The Steps to Freedom but only after they have done some significant Bible study work that helps me verify their commitment and sincerity. Also, try to use the term helping or mentoring instead of counseling to avoid legal implications.
Once you have chosen to begin working in this ministry you should establish a counseling only, e-mail account. Using completely fabricated information to establish the account except for your first name. There are a lot of predators on the Internet and it is likely that we will run across a few in this ministry. That is why it is important not to give out any personal identifying information. Do not ask the lady for any identifying information either. Some freely volunteer it, that is their choice, but never ask for it.
If you decide that you would like to embark on this ministry endeavor, please tell me about the training and counseling experience you have had so I can try to match you up with the right ladies for you, especially if you have experience working with Dissociative Identity Disorder. When a request comes in that looks like it would match up with you, I will send you a copy of her request for help, containing her Personal Confidential Inventory. Please let me know as soon as possible if you choose to take the lady requesting help. Please do your best to make your first contact with her within 24 hours of her request for help. If you choose not to take her please delete her information immediately for confidentiality reasons.
Most of these ladies will greatly benefit from just having someone they can share their burden with and get counsel and encouragement from. I am available to help you if you need some help getting started or don’t know where to go with a problem. You can contact me at helpwithhealing@yahoo.com
